Last week was horrible
I endured seven exams last week. The hell. I slept like a baby during the weekend, after all those late nights spent at coffee shops desperately trying to study :((

Yesterday was horrible, too. Talk about that shitty Stat practicals, I basically died within 10 minutes :( Then came movie night (5:10pm actually but yeah). I had no phone with me, I was sleeping soundly at my dorm because my alarm didn't work, but good thing my friends came over and had my door knocked 'til I was up. Brit loaned me her phone because my phone was with Michael's, and I can't come with them instantly since I had to take a bath first and change.

The thing is Brit's phone had no credits. So I can only receive messages and calls. But no one texted me (anything that is the least bit helpful) that allowed me to find them, until I was already seated at the front. Then I went to the upper box and tried finding them but it was dark and it was too embarrassing to tap each person to see if it's them. So I gave up and went back to my seat at the front and watched the movie alone. I was this big ball of disappointment when I finally saw them in the end, they were like 20+ of my blockmates and to think I was several rows away watching and laughing alone. It's sad. And I let them know and I kinda cried when Rain hugged me a few minutes later when she apologized. I dunno why I was that upset. I mean, I got to watch the movie, that was the point, right? But I guess... I was so frustrated for, I dunno, them not trying hard enough. Like it was perfectly okay that I wasn't with them. Like I was this disposable kind of person. And it just strengthened the late realizations I've been having.

That kinda hurt.

I tried putting myself in their shoes. I think I'm saying this because I know how it feels if I do otherwise, but I probably won't stop reaching that person until he/she's joined us. Sigh. But it's over and they apologized and I already shed tears for this. To be honest, I felt really okay that time when Rain was hugging me while I was crying, because it felt like some sort of release. And at that moment we were watching Hale live, too, so I felt better sooner than the usual time it would take me to. I think writing about it just made it all fresh :))) This would be the second release, though, and that's enough already.

I'm too touchy about these things. Just this morning I got upset again, because of my HS friend. I was joking around (Twitter) then Lyca brings up this reunion I won't be able to attend.

"bleee wala ka sa 28"
"nakahanda na mga gamit namin"
"gusto mo join kita sa group chat?"

Like what the actual fuck, man. Don't rub it on me. I'm already sad enough that I won't be joining you and this is what you do to me :( :( :( I think I mentioned this a lot of times already but I don't like it when people give me in-your-face moments, even if it was jokingly done. I don't really take those jokes well. Call me names or bully me or tease me about being single or fat or nerdy or scare me shitless with pranks, but don't ever joke things like this to me. Don't make me feel even more the loss I already know I have.

Okay here's a picture of baby pandas so this post isn't 100% saddening

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Sunday, May 24, 2015
@ 23:08